Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
