hotel room ftw
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
