Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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