Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize