You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.