everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
