at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
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He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...