It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Of course I have a pirate flag