Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
