I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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