he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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