I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize