I'm jealous of your bromance
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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