So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You left your phone here
Wait...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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