So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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