he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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