We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
