ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
the raccoons are back...
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