I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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