She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
