Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
why do cheetos always look like penises
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
