You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
