Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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