im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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