I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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