Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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