dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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