ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
