i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
