Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
