Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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