I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
