Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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