next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
