So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
