Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
