it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize