Sry I called you an 8
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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