Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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