Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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