he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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