This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We need a shit load of segways right now
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
