God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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