He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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