There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
