if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
