I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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