they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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