oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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