They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
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I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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