And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
