just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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