How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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