You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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