Christians are straight up FREAKS
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
