I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
