what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
