Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
