Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize