You smell like a Billy Joel song
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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