paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
