Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
