im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
